


Lighthouse

by multifandom_stay



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Changbin can't deal with feelings, Established Relationship, Felix is Confused, Hyunjin appears briefly, Kim Seungmin-centric, Multi, Relationship Problems, Sad, Sad Kim Seungmin, They live in a lighthouse, mainly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24249118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandom_stay/pseuds/multifandom_stay
Summary: The path of love was never easy.*Also posted on Wattpad under rara_stays_for_skz*
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Updates will be irregular and random (sort of) but I hopefully will update once a month.
> 
> \- Rara

Seungmin's lighthouse brought a smile to his face. The morning was in its youth, sunlight streaming through the white curtains and filtering onto his face. His eyes glimmered with honey warmth and his rosy cheeks were tugged into a firm smile. Nothing could bring him down.

On either side of him, lay the sleeping forms of his boyfriends. The one on his right was shorter, smaller, with dark hair, deep-seated eyes and a defined jaw. His lips were smooth and almost elegant, lightly parted in his sleep. Under his arm, he clutched a munchlax by the name Gyu. In Seungmin's opinion, he was the cutest thing in the world.

On his left, with orange, unruly hair, was a lightly tanned freckled boy. His features were graceful, though his lips were slightly chapped, and his hair spread across the pillow like an orange halo. His small fists bunched the edge of the baby blue duvet, as he fidgeted minimally in his sleep.

Seungmin enjoyed being the first to wake. He loved watching his boyfriends at their calmest state; when they were most at peace. He never wanted it to end. He rubbed the sleepiness out of his blurry eyes, precariously creeping out of the bed to slip on his glasses and leave the bedroom. He padded down the stone, spiral staircase barefooted to the lower level, which held the living room and kitchen. Sunlight streamed in from the windows, and Seungmin spied the deep, blue sea that stretched on forever.

Humming gently to himself, he pottered around the kitchen, heating a frying pan, drizzling oil, cracking eggs and readying plates. The routine was simple and habitual. He set the dining table, which was really just a low bar from the open kitchen to the living room, with wooden placemats and turquoise glasses.

He sat himself down just as Felix entered. He smiled like the sun, his hair ruffled oddly, though he was nothing short of perfect. No words were needed to convey their love as they ate slowly, allowing time for Changbin to arrive. When he did, he walked slowly, appearing small in pyjamas that were too long, Gyu tucked under one arm. His muscled arms hid under the baggy clothing and his tousled hair made him appear innocent.

After they'd eaten, they lingered in their seats, gazing at one another, lost to reality, barely believing it. Their love was young. Their love was pure. _Was_. For, like the course of fate and time, love, too, has its ups and downs.


	2. One

Shout. Shouted. Shouting.  
Felix and Changbin yelled at one another above him.

Seungmin sat in the kitchen. His plate was empty. The other two were not. Cold, cold eggs. Neglected. Forgotten. They lay limply on the warm grey ceramic plates. The turquoise glasses were empty, save one. The air was thick in silence. Emptiness.

Seungmin stood. Washing dishes had never been a chore before, not with the happy peals of laughter, the bright feeling of love, the collaboration of their work. Now, Seungmin lacked simple drive and energy.

He padded his way to the front door, unhooking his trench coat and shrouding himself in it. The tall boots came next. He gently opened the door to the lighthouse, slipping outside. His hair ruffled in the careless sea breeze. The smell of salt burned his nose. A feeling - an aura - of home; familiarity. He sunk down onto the rugged, stone steps.

Before he had comprehended it, tears rolled down his cheeks. Quick tears, bursting with emotion. And yet, he couldn't recognize why he cried. His cheeks were rosy from the cold, stained with streaks in messy lines as the wind brushed his face. He leaned his head against the door, the chipped dark blue paint; shoved his hands in his pockets, fingertips cold - so cold. His lips were parted, pink. His chest moved slowly.

And he cried, listening to the sound of their anger and animosity. Where had it all gone wrong? The tears were unstoppable. Was it because of him?

And Seungmin wished to run - wished to escape this nest of sadness. But his body was tired. His mind was weak. His soul was hopeful - maybe, when he woke up, this was all just a bad dream. But this was reality. And naive denial is nothing but a feeble speck of dust against the forces of reality.

The yelling grew louder, the door was pushed open. Ouch. In silent shock, Seungmin reached for his head, meeting the suddenly apologetic eyes of Felix. The yelling had stopped, but Seungmin could barely notice. His head rang, pounded, buzzed. Ouch. The tears ceased to halt.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

And arms cradled him frantically.

"I'm sorry."

But Seungmin had heard the same voice whisper the same thing to Changbin each night. That he was sorry. _How much do you mean it?_

Hands lightly rubbed around his head, but Seungmin failed to stop his tears. Everything hurt. Everything hurt so much. Couldn't they see?

He whimpered uncontrollably, before completely opening his mouth to unleash heart-wrenching sobs that tore his throat hoarse.

Someone now held him from the front. Hands lightly gripping the boy. Kissing his lips. Begging to be seen. But Seungmin had long since clenched his eyes shut. He didn't want to see. He didn't want to believe anything. And so, he merely sobbed into the arms of his boyfriends.

Praying to himself - a mental plea within - please, please, make this all stop.  
But life is too careless of the wishes of men. And fate is too cruel.


	3. Two

Seungmin awoke, blinking into the stuffy darkness. It took him a few seconds to realise that the duvet around him lacked the warmth and comfort it usually did. It was airy, light, _empty_.

Seungmin tensed. No breathing other than his. He was alone. Changbin and Felix were gone. His heart plummeted at a million miles per hour as he jolted up into a sitting position.  
His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he became painfully aware of the messy sheets sprawled around his legs. He was in the bed alone. 

Gingerly, he opened the door, creeping into the pitch-black hall, tiptoeing his way down the spiral staircase.

"Felix? Changbin?"

The lighthouse was silent. Tears pricked his eyes, threatening to spill. Had they really just _left_ him?

He moved to the couch in a daze, his exhausted body collapsing onto the comfortable furniture. And before he knew it, he'd fallen asleep.  
He was awakened again. The sunlight streamed into the room, and he was startled momentarily when he realised he was in the living room. 

"Seungmin?"

Felix was there, Changbin behind him. The older wore a coat, while the other didn't, but Seungmin had now become aware of the garment that covered his shivering body. A garment that smelt of the outside, crisp air, with the perfect hint of sea salt. They'd been outside. In the middle of the night. Without him.

"Seungmin, is everything alright?"

He didn't dare respond. He didn't dare question. He was afraid of what might face him. He was afraid they would simply pick up and leave him behind.

And so, the youngest stood, letting the brown trench coat slip onto the couch as he made his way back upstairs, where he buried himself under the cold duvet, wishing to be hidden from the world; a silent plea racing in his mind for peace and love and contentment. 

But as always, fate pushed it aside amongst the pleas of all others. Neglected in a place too harsh for innocence and fragile hope.


	4. Three

Seungmin woke some nights later to the sound of harsh whispers. In his sleepy daze, he muttered garbled nonsense, causing the whispers to come to a halt. He sits up in the pitch blackness, the covers wrinkling down to his waist easily. Cold air immediately hits the sliver of skin on his stomach where his shirt had ridden up. He’s alone in the bed.

“Felix? Changbin?”

There is a quiet shuffling, before someone whispers - Changbin - “Sorry, we didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“What is going on?” He mumbled half to himself.

There is some more shuffling before the mattress dips to his left, and he registers a sudden warmth beside him moments before arms circle his waist, tightly pulling his body against the warm chest of someone. He immediately smells cologne and strawberry lip balm, scents that are familiar to him. Felix is hugging him, but Seungmin doesn’t understand why the other is fancied up. And then it hits him, and his body tenses; and he is suddenly awake. Felix was going to go outside. Or he had come from outside.

“Felix?”

“Yes, Minnie?”

Seungmin swallows, as the mattress dips again - though this time, it’s to the right - and another pair of arms circle him. The material feels too thick through his clothing; too rough to be a soft hoodie, but enough for a coat.

“Why are you dressed up?”

Nothing appears to be adding up in his sleepy denial. He _knows_ he saw them don their comfortable sleepwear before cuddling up to him. And yet, here they are, fully dressed, with lip balm and cologne.

“I’m not.” 

A lie. Felix has just lied. But no, maybe he’s imagining it - after all, he is tired.

“You’re dressed up to go out.”

“I’m not.” Felix denies again, but his voice wavers.

Seungmin is quick. So quick it takes them too long to comprehend what is happening when it does. He shoves their arms off in a panic-induced flurry. He is soon flying across the bed and rushing through the already open bedroom door - more evidence that they are hiding things from him. He’s down the stairs quickly, rushing to the front door - air - as he gasps.

His fingers fumble at the knob, turning it, until he’s sitting barefoot on the stone stairs, shivering in his hoodie and thin pyjama trousers. His hair flies in the night wind, and the smell of salt welcomes him. 

The tears come quickly - they always do - as Seungmin clasps his hands together, turning the skin white, in a silent prayer to any being listening. But beings of high power see it as a nuisance to pay attention to the feeble prayers of those who cling helplessly onto hope, perhaps, for there remains - in the morning - a sleeping, shivering boy, at the foot of the lighthouse, hands clasped together. Alone.


	5. Four

Seungmin honestly should have seen it coming at this point, for as the days lingered on at a snail's pace, his lovers had argued again. And again. Each night, he'd wake in a flurry of fear, but they were still there. At least they'd stopped sneaking out. Or maybe they'd just gotten better at it.

The sky is dim between the crack in the curtains; the sun is barely rising. For a moment, in a sleepy daze, he wonders why he is awake. And then the cold emptiness behind him. He's laying on his side, hands clutched onto Changbin's hoodie, but Felix's warmth has disappeared. He shifts and his hand registers the warmth of the mattress. Felix hasn't been gone long, maybe to the bathroom, but there is a feeling of uneasiness in his stomach.

And then, faintly, there's a rustling on the other side of the bedroom. Seungmin closes his eyes, and the next thing he registers is a kiss on his cheek. 

"I'm sorry." Felix whispers.

Sorry? What is Felix sorry for? Seungmin opens his eyes and wishes he hadn't. Felix is fully dressed, complete until the scarf and mask tucked just beneath his chin. His expression cries of guilt. And it clicks. No.

Seungmin reaches out and tugs at Felix's hand.

"Please. Please don't leave." His voice is quiet and hoarse from sleep and lack of use.

Alas, Felix gently disconnects their hands, turning his back and walking out of the room. Seungmin scrambles, foot wildly kicking Changbin's shin, but that's the least of his concern. Felix is his main concern. Felix is the main priority.

He follows the other down the stairs.

"No. Please don't. Please don't leave me."

He stumbles in shock at the packed suitcase that Felix grabs as he pulls the door open. Seungmin runs after him, ear barely registering the padded footsteps behind him.

"Felix, please don't." 

But the other enters the car. The lights flood the gravel as Seungmin tries to follow bare-footed. But Felix has already begun to drive away, and he's taken the only car they have.

Seungmin screams, a heart-wrenching sound as the tears escape. This time, he's not alone as Changbin clutches the younger to his chest, sobbing. Seungmin kicks and screams like a child, denial, anger and betrayal coursing through his veins. But Changbin remains steadfast in his strength, holding him tight.

And as he screams a final hoarse sound into the suffocatingly salty air, he makes a final prayer. _Please let everything be alright_. But even now, he wonders just how much faith he had left in fate. After all, fate merely views people as its pawns, and Seungmin is indifferent to its treatment.


End file.
